My fingers slide, glide, trace along your image thinking, dreaming about what it would be like to put my lips on you and bite into your dense, fudgy, delicious chocolateyness…what kind of blog did you think this was?
I think the obsession all began with the slippery slope of dieting. Over the course of a particularly stressful year stuffed with sugar and grease, and devoid of meaningful physical activity (shifting positions in my chair does not count) I packed on about 10lbs *or more*. Needless to say, I and my circulation-killing pants were not at all pleased. With the dawn of 2016 however, I decided to change things and actually eat more in the way of proper meals rather than delicious, sweet, comforting, heart-warming, heaven-sent…errr…dessert.
Any sensible person would remove the chocolate-covered temptation to cheat on their healthy diet. I, however, have never been accused of being sensible. The dessert withdrawal activated the voyeuristic centre of my brain and I developed an insatiable appetite for food porn; give me 50 Shades of Brownie and give it to me now. When you create an Instagram account for the sole purpose of looking at food, you know you’ve got a problem. I just can’t help myself though, every time I see a photo of a fudgy brownie or something with peanut butter it’s like Barry White is singing directly to me.
My love of dessert is real, deep and strong, no diet can truly separate us. My dessert loins quiver when cheat day rolls around and I can bake something delicious. I Google food, stalk dessert Instagrams and bookmark recipes like a fiend and I am not ashamed!
I’m heading to Europe in a few days and my Google history looks something like this: “best gelato spots in Florence”, “best pizza in Florence”, “gelato in Pisa”, “best dessert places in Brussels”, “best tiramisu in Pisa”, “best bakeries in Frankfurt”, “brioche con gelato”, “best waffles near the Grand Place”, “food tours in Italy”. I have practically zero searches about monuments or attraction, ninety percent of my trip research has been about food! I’m a sick woman, woefully led by my belly and I’m okay with it.
If there are any others out there suffering from a deliciously crippling food porn addiction, I can’t help you, I really can’t. If you’re wondering whether or not you have a problem or suspect that a friend/family member is an addict check the following five signs to be sure.
- Your Instagram follow list has more baking/food blogs than anything else.
- Your Pinterest is practically covered in chocolate…or cheese.
- You could make a cookbook from your search history.
- You find yourself scrolling through your phone late at night just looking at food.
- In fact, a lot of your spare time is filled up by longingly staring at food and wishing you could eat the screen.
Do those apply to you? Well then, you’re a food porn addict.
thecrazycatkind 